Life has been a battlefield. A warzone of many fronts, of many turfs triumphed and many turfs doomed. There's no easy way to look at it.
Today, when I am closing towards adding another year of experience to my life, I feel endured yet lost on certain cruicial fronts of life. Though there are few things which I shall always be proud of like finding a spiritual path, finding loving people in my family, having loving friends, achieving several milestones which I barely dreamt of achieving, nevethless life still seems futile as my search for completeness is far from over.
Love is that barren land for me where I still stand in solitude. It isn't that I do not have people who love me, but it is rather me who is still to get completely drenched in its shower. Feels like an oasis. I always thought that I have figured what true love really is but today I am standing far away from it just hanging in the oblivion. Maybe I have mistaken something for love.
Pain and suffering is what life is all about and my attachment to it is so prominent. Having walked on a path of Spiritual realisation I feel trapped in my own farces and it is only getting worse. The worst part is my attempts to live in an absolute past and an uncertain future at the same time while missing out on the ultimate present moment. Missing out on living in a present moment is a sin and I have been that sinner who is consistently doing it inspite of knowing a way to live it.
I almost know a way to go for it, but as it is said... Almost gets you almost, all it makes you is a winning loser!
