Quest And Conquest.

What, Why, When, Where, Which, How....... they just can't stop but life does, they just keep popping up.
It's a 26 years old quest, a battle so far not concluded, an untiring effort with so many wrongs and few rights....yet the thirst is not quenched, the fire's controlled but the smoke's smothering... vision hampered, and mind tired when I turn back to see how far I have come, I learn, I am lost.... engrossed in facing the life head on, crushing all fears, tackling every unnecessary thing that came to me as a necessity against my will, I am lost!

Let me tell you what in life I have done..... good or bad, right or wrong.... I was always in dilemma to decide among them all... I always had every option for trial so I tried... didn't had a choice to seek a guidance.... it would have been otherwise else.... "they" were there but still they weren't there to guide, it may sound a contradiction but this isn't a contradiction, please stand with me and see ........ you will know its not a contradiction... ah... whatever.... this is how I've become, helpless and weak ...convincing others without a reason.... Ask me what not I've done... steal, lie, disrespect, theft... all of it! who was there to stop?? but it stopped.... ask me what not I've done..... giveaway, truth, respect, mercy.... all of it! who was there to show??

Try abusing your mother.... , try hitting your father.... , try killing yourself.... I did!!
Try being hungry for a fortnight....I was, try leaving home and staying on road... I have, try... please try..... unless you try, you will always see me the way you see me.... but I am not what you see! You think these words are enough for you to judge me?? or for that matter even for me to judge myself?? All these 26 years.... have molded me..... molded me in such a way that I am lost.... lost my vision... lost my spirit... lost everything ... just one conquest I have..... my willpower to triumph...... this is life ..... and life is still fabulous!!!!